Thursday, 12 September 2013

Weight loss // Progress

I've started this post abut 5 times now!
I didn't know whether this was something i wanted to share or not,
this is exactly the kind of post i love reading so,
here goes...

I have never been happy with my weight.
For as long as i can remember i've been a yoyo dieter. 
The other thing i hate,
in all honesty,
is that society makes me feel this way.

I hate that the reason i am like this
is because i want people to look at me and not judge me for my size.

But anyway, 
that is a whole other post!!
[i'll bet you're looking forward to that rant]

Last year i hit rock bottom.
I think i was the heaviest i've ever been.
I avoided mirrors,
i avoided going out.
I gave up on everything.

I am a crisp addict.
No joke.
I eat crisps like smokers smoke.
And if i don't get crisps, 
i sweat, and panic, until i get my crisps.
If you think i'm exaggerating, 
then you don't understand.

I was miserable.
The last straw was when i went go karting
for a friend's birthday.
The guys who ran it made me sit in a kart,
with everyone watching,
before accepting any money from me and giving me a helmet...
to make sure i fit into it.

I know it sounds like nothing,
but i promise you, it was humiliating.
I walked out and cried for the whole rest of the day.
I was mortified.

The following day i decided to make a change.
I stopped binge eating.
I stopped eating from boredom. 
I was unhappy so i ate to make myself feel better,
which made me feel worse, 
so i ate more.
You know the story.
I made a change and stopped the cycle.

I didn't do any crazy diet,
This was my plan...
i got up and worked out,
i ate a bowl of cereal.
I ate my dinner which was ryvitas with cream cheese.
The next time i ate was tea time.
Lots of veggies, meat, pasta etc.
Healthy, good food. 

I ended up losing 10 kilos in 2 months. 
Then i went home for christmas...
big mistake!
I stopped working out and i ate shit again!

From Dec - June i worked out occasionally,
but ate like i used to.
Crisps were back in my life.
I gained about 2 kilos.

From June - August i got really ill,
and physically couldn't work out.
So it got worse.
I didn't put weight on though,
which was a blessing.

During the time i was in the UK i was invited to a wedding.
It's a really special wedding,
the girl getting married is part of a family i count as my second family.
What makes it even more special...
she's getting married in the chapel in the tower of london.
Yep, her dad's a beefeater. 

The thought of attending this wedding, 
looking like i do now, 
in front of all those guests
[and tourists!!]
made me break out into a sweat.

I wanted to look back at this wedding and be happy to see myself in the pictures.
So, decision made, back on healthy eating.

I have been working out every morning, 
and power walking every night,
for the past two and a half weeks.
I've lost 4 kilos so far.
It's been such a boost.
Again, all i am doing is exercise and eating healthy.

I've found a dress on the zara website that i want to wear so i have a goal.

I know it's going to take time, 
but i'm going to keep going until i feel comfortable in myself.
Weight doesn't matter,
it's how i feel.

I've been feeling discouraged, 
but after taking this morning's progress picture
i feel a little more excited. 

The wedding is the last weekend in October.
I am taking it one day at a time, 
and i know i can do this. 

The story behind the denim shirt....
when i bought it, it hung really nicely on me.
I want to get back to that feeling,
i'm getting there, 

Also...maybe...i think it's time for the ombre to go!

Thanks for reading guys :) 

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Parents invade Berlin!

Just a few [very] delayed snapshots from my parents visit in August.
Or July....
I can't remember anymore!!

I haven't been anywhere this week or done anything,
so no photos or sunday summery for you.

I can tell you that i've been on a healthy eating regime for two weeks,
and my weigh in is tomorrow.
I'll be back in the afternoon to fill you in on what i'm up to,
why i'm doing it,
and why i give a fuck if i'm fat or thin.

Hope everyone's enjoying x-factor!!
I wasn't going to watch it this year but then...
i did.
Now i don't want to stop.


Wednesday, 4 September 2013

a-z of ME!!


Bed size?

But i have to share :(
It's a german one,

Chore you dislike?

Hanging wet washing up.
Then taking dry washing down.
Then folding it.
Then putting it away.
I mainly hate hanging up wet socks.


Yes please!
I have a black lab in the UK,
the ever glorious Poppy.
And i had a yellow lab,
but she is no longer with us.
She was 16 or something cray like that.
Might introduce you some time.

Essential start to your day?

These days i have to work out before i do anything.
I'm on a mission to lose at least 2 stone.
By October 25th.
I'm 10 days in,
will update in another post :)

Favourite colour?

Green or grey.

Gold or silver? 

When i was younger i loved silver, 
then i decided i would only wear gold.
But now i'm older i realise it doesn't have to be one or the other!
I like either.


5,6 or 5,7
I'm not entirely sure!
I think i'm shrinking though.

Instruments you play(ed) ?

I was so into Avril lavigne when she came out,
she made me want to play guitar.
I was awful, 
all i could learn was songs, 
rather than chords.
I played a mean 'Sorrow' by Bad Religion.



There are so many things i do at the minute. 


Ugh no never!
I am one of those rare people who doesn't want kids. 
People can call it being selfish,
but it's not that.
[also-who the hell are they to judge!]
I just don't want them, 
i'm happy with my boyfriend.
When i get my dogs they'll be my babies!


Between the UK and Berlin.
Want to live in Devon or Cornwall at some point.
A year by the sea.
Planning on moving to Manchester in the future.

Mum’s name?

She's Deutsch.
People ask her if she means 'Brigette' and it's like
She knows her own name
 thank you very much.


smelly shelly,
pea head.

Overnight hospital stays? 

When i had my gall bladder removed.
Worst night ever,
sleep was absent most of the night,
all i wanted to do was pee.
When it came to the next day the tube in my stomach...
got stuck on muscle as it was being removed.
I'll never forget that tug.

Pet peeves?

Doubting myself.

Quote from a movie? 

"we got no food, no jobs, our pet's HEADS ARE FALLING OFF"

dumb & dumber.

Righty or lefty?

All righty then.


4 years younger.

Time you wake up?

Naturally, about 7 am.
When i actually get up is a different matter entirely.


Granny pants.

Vegetables you don’t like?

Aubergine & sprouts.

What makes you run late?

Just being me.

X-rays you’ve had?

Multiple ankle x-rays.
I think the dentist x-rayed my teeth recently too.
He left the room, 
i was like 'uum'

Yummy food you make?

Quiche and bread.
I am a master.

Zoo animal favourites? 

I don't know.
I always feel sad at a zoo.
I think the elephants.
And the rhinos.
They're crazy to look at up close.

Hope you all enjoyed reading that?
I tag anyone who can be bothered to do their own!
I love reading shit like this.

Monday, 2 September 2013

Day tripping || Potsdam

This awesome toilet was decorated with pages from manga comics. 
I stayed in there for an age...
way too long.

Heading into my favourite area of Potsdam, 
the Dutch quarter.

Dammit Marie, they're MINERALS!

When we get visitors we tend to go out and explore a lot more than usual. 
This year we ended up travelling just outside Berlin,
to a little place called Potsdam. 

It's seeped in history, to quote my dad,
"it got the shit bombed out of it during the war".
Eloquent as always. 
Which war he is talking about, i'm not sure.

It took about 50 minutes to get there on a train.
We had lovely weather and every intention to get the water taxi around the city,
someone was too cold and needed to buy a jumper,
so we missed to first taxi, 
then spent the rest of the day chasing another one.
[my feet!]

My favourite area was the old Amsterdam quarter.
The houses were beautiful,
i've still not been to Amsterdam, but i want to go even more now!
I would have loved to sit outside a cafe and had a cherry beer,
watch the afternoon slowly go by.

There is even a Brandenburg gate here, 
which was bizarre!

One of the main places it is recommended to visit here is 
Sansoucci Park.
It was beautiful,
but that's another story for another day!

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