I have dreams of being an illustrator.
There. I said it.
I've been really unmotivated since leaving my art degree and continuously feel i am not good enough.
I worried people would tell me my drawings look like that of a 5 year old.
I was obsessed with finding my own style, but at the same time telling myself the way i drew was utter crap, and that no-one in their right mind would like it, let alone enjoy it.
Needless to say, i lost a little of myself when i stopped drawing.
I used to work a lot of different hours in a pub, so i got to meet some amazing characters, and listen in on some intense conversations.
Inspiration was everywhere.
Now i have turned into a bit of a hermit. I prefer to stay in, i don't work [i know, i'm lucky], and i am an anxious, anti social moron.
I couldn't find inspiration anywhere for a long time.
I have recently started drawing again. I don't know what triggered it. Trying to remind myself that i love drawing, even if i can't.
I have no problem admitting this, i cannot draw, but as guru Tim Gunn says, i "make it work" for myself.
This is one of my current sketchbooks. I attacked a Muji notepad with washi tape.
Oh my how i love washi tape.
My other book, this one has thicker paper and can handle watercolour and inky pens better.
Again, it has been washi'd.
This is far from my normal style.
I was trying something a bit different and more 'realistic' i guess.
The last page is a little series of zine type books that i'm working on.
So, there we have it.
My absolute dream would be to write, illustrate and publish some kind of kids book.
I just need to stop being so scared and push myself.
I have a few fun posts coming up, a couple of hauls, book reviews, craft projects, and maybe some more drawings.
Have a nice weekend!