On being 'boring'.

Boring

Some things about me...

I don't drink.

I have social anxiety. 

I'm über self-conscious.

All of these factors lead people to think the same thing about me;

i am rude,

and i am a boring bore.

I am neither.

I come across as rude because of my chronic shyness.

I am that person who will say something ridiculous in answer to your simple question.

I search my brain for intelligent and humorous conversation.

My brain farts in return.

I come across as boring because i don't drink.

How?

Please, enlighten me.

How on earth does not drinking make me so boring?

I don't like to piss, yes literally piss, the small amount of money i have away.

[i prefer spending this on permanent scars on my body!]

I don't like to feel sick.

I don't like feeling dizzy.

But mainly....

i don't like the affect it has on people.

You must have been 'the sober one' at some point? 

You get where i'm coming from right?

I would rather go to a gig, enjoy it, and leave.

Return to my nice warm house,

change into some comfy pants,

and watch Ace Ventura.

Or listen to music.

Or edit some photos. 

Or draw.

Or write.

Or read.

I enjoy my life.

I don't call you out on your choices.

Don't call me out on mine.

Usually i sneak out of a social gathering, 

as not to make a fuss or draw attention to myself.

Tonight i was out and someone asked me what my plans were for the rest of the evening.

I told them straight, 

"i'm heading off in a minute, not staying long"

*cue the boos*

At this point i held my hands up and laughingly said,

"oooh i know, so boring!"

And although it seems ridiculous,

it felt so good.